NFP part 2
(Thoughts continued from NFP Part 1)
One
main obstacle to understanding NFP is that it is constantly compared to and
considered as an alternative to contraception. NFP is not contraception, nor is
it an alternative to it. Contraception is contrary to Natural Law, and is
against the sacrament of marriage itself. Morally, it is simply not even
relevant in a discussion on NFP. It would be as if during a discussion on
hospital vs. home care for the terminally ill, someone was to chime in and say,
"Well, what's wrong with euthanasia?" NFP is not "Catholic
contraception," any more than annulment is "Catholic divorce."
Approaching it with a contraceptive mindset is an obstacle to properly understanding
both marital sexuality and Natural Family Planning.
NFP
exists as an effective, scientifically-based alternative to complete
abstinence. It is not an alternative to contraception. NFP allows a married
couple to still have sex in their marriage, because sex is part of marriage.
This brings us to the second obstacle to understanding:
The
second obstacle is to forget that sex is an integral part of marriage. Sex is
not just something that is only allowed
once you're married. (You can't even validly get married if you can't
physically consummate- that's how intrinsically important it is.) It is
literally part of living the sacrament of marriage, which was given to us by
God, not designed by man. It is unitive, and procreative, and also, of course,
pleasurable. However, if all three of these characteristics are not present, it
falls to an act of lust, rather than love. Lust is defined as "self-seeking
sexual desire," or the use of another for self-gratification.[1]
One should not want sex only for the pleasure, nor only for unity, nor only for
procreation. Contraception is against natural law and Church teaching because
it intentionally severs the connection between sexuality and one of its major
purposes.
A
third obstacle to understanding NFP is that is it too often confused with the
"rhythm method" or some other out-dated or ineffective means of
spacing pregnancies. This confusion always calls into question the actual
effectiveness of NFP. I would like to think that this obstacle may be the
easiest to clear up, since use of NFP is not necessary in order to simply understand
and acknowledge the facts about it. The fact is that NFP is based on science.
It is based upon knowing how the female body properly works, and using that
knowledge prudently. If NFP users follow the rules of their method diligently,
it can be highly effective in avoiding pregnancy if necessary. The highly
convenient corollary is that it is also very helpful when a couple begins
trying to conceive.
Additionally,
the information that NFP helps its users to establish can be useful to
everyone, not only Catholics. For instance, many contraceptive users also
employ fertility awareness as a means of knowing when they will
"need" to use contraception in order not to conceive. This is the
difference between Natural Family Planning (NFP) and the Fertility Awareness
Method (FAM). The book we used to learn NFP was actually a book on FAM. I had
seen it recommended numerous times on the Catholic Answers Forum before I
bought it (FAM simply becomes NFP by abstinence). It is a highly informative
book about women's bodies and fertility cycles. The fact that this book is
written for a primarily secular audience is a testament to how useful the
benefits of fertility awareness really are for all women, not only Catholics
who are using NFP. [2]
Along
with a few other bloggers who have recently expressed their opinions, I think
that NFP does need to be evangelized. It needs to be evangelized effectively.
In order for it to be effective, information about NFP needs to cover all of
its facets, though, not only the ones most relevant to us Catholics. There must
be an appropriate balance between Natural Law, and Catholic teaching and
morality, and facts about the female body and fertility awareness that are
informed by medical science. If the scientific information is spread as well as
the Catholic information, perhaps it could correct some of the misinformation
that is out there. I think that more people will be open to at least hearing
facts based on science, especially people who are completely engrossed in
secular culture. NFP is like many other moral issues that can be supported both
by theological and secular arguments. We need to be well-versed in both in
order to get our information across.
[1]
Christopher West, Theology of the Body
for Beginners (West Chester, PA: Ascension Press, 2009), 26, 131.
[2]
Toni Weschler, Taking Charge of Your
Fertility (New York: Collins, 2006)
The method Weschler teaches is essentially
sympto-thermal NFP. While her FAM method allows for use of barrier methods, she does say
that abstinence is most effective. She also lists a number of Catholic NFP
resources in the back of the book.
